Why am i envious of my friends

You tell your friends that you got that promotion, and somehow, they manage to turn it into a bad thing. Behind every jealous person are some of their own insecurities , McBain says. Are your friends the insecure type? Those who are comfortable with themselves and have a strong sense of self-esteem tend to be less jealous of those around them. On the other hand, if you notice your friends are not secure in who they are, you might find them more likely to rear the inner green-eyed monster.

A jealous friend will constantly criticize your actions or choices , Catchings says. Are your friends obsessed with getting invited to elite events? Need to get their hands on the latest designer trends?

Then, when you get something above and beyond what they have, they seem to struggle? Status and success are huge players in jealousy. Accomplished something huge? Do you feel jealous of your best friend from time to time? Jealousy is a negative emotion that occurs when you want what someone else has.

While jealousy can be experienced by anyone at any time, it is unhealthy to be jealous of the people you love. You should also take a moment to think about the cause of your jealousy. I love your style more than mine. Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue.

No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1. Consider your insecurities. Often, when you figure out what your insecurities or challenges are, you will be able to build them into strengths, which will prohibit feelings of jealousy.

Remind yourself that you are more than just your insecurities. Try to keep a positive mindset while identifying areas in which you are insecure. Remind yourself of things you do feel confident in or like about yourself.

Remember that you can change any insecurity into a strength with time and effort. For example, perhaps you are lonely and want to make more friends, but you are not outgoing. Build your self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. Are you good at school? Do you excel at sports? Are you a fair listener or a trusted secret keeper for your friends?

Write down a list of your best qualities and reread it any time you doubt yourself. Actively engaging in activities you are good at can remind you of your strengths and build self-esteem. Strike up a conversation with someone new to build your confidence.

Keeping a list of every compliment you received over the course of a week. Read over these compliments when you are feeling insecure.

Working on your challenges. Perhaps you are terrible at bowling and your best friend is a good bowler. You can improve your bowling through practice. Find happiness in yourself. It's easier to become jealous of people around you if you aren't happy with yourself. Feelings of inadequacy increase the likelihood that you will experience jealousy. When you focus on external factors, such as popularity or earning potential, those things could shift and your self-esteem could crumble.

Practicing daily intentions. Post them somewhere visible, such as on your mirror or computer monitor. Consider saying them out loud each day. Visual prompts can be very helpful for affirmations. Reclaim your power over your emotions. Do not let your emotions hold control over you as this will create a reactive state of emoting.

You have chosen to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and you are in control of your emotions. When you begin to feel jealous or angry, remind yourself that you are being reactive and choose to stop feeling that way.

Ask yourself what you are feeling and if you want to feel this way. If you do not want to feel this way, take some deep breaths and focus on the emotion you want to feel instead. Make the choice to feel the way that you want to feel. For example, if you want to feel happiness, focus on being happy, identify what makes you happy, and maintain a positive mental attitude.

Part 2. Ask yourself what is causing you to feel jealous. While you may initially believe that you are jealous of something superficial, once you begin to look at your feelings of jealousy more deeply, you will realize that there is likely one specific root of your jealousy, which you can then change. Ask yourself: Are you jealous of your best friend because you think she is prettier than you? What makes her prettier than you?

Is it her haircut, her clothing, or her makeup? Is it the way she carries herself or her self-confidence? If you are jealous of her clothing or makeup, you can go shopping for new clothing or makeup for yourself. If you are jealous of the way she carries herself, you can work on your posture, poise, and self-confidence, and pretty soon you will be carrying yourself in a new way. Once you have figured out what specifically you are jealous of, you can begin to work on yourself to overcome that jealousy.

Disconnect your emotions from the situation that triggered them and then analyze them. Often you are jealous of something fleeting and trivial.

If this is the case, remind yourself that you are being irrational and check your jealousy. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you live your life constantly comparing yourself to others, you will create insecurities and recognize disparities that will breed jealousy. Your envy is probably here to stay—for a while anyway. Instead of fighting it, address the source of it. I knew deep down that four years was a long time to wait to have a baby.

But I hated to face it head on. When I realized how easily I fell prey to the green-eyed monster, I knew it was time to take my head out of the sand and deal with the issue.

I started infertility treatment. My friend was right there by my side as my biggest source of support through this emotionally exhausting roller coaster.

In turn, I was able to share with her the excitement of her pregnancy. In fact, it was a huge motivation to keep going on rough days when all I wanted to do was give up and curl into a ball. I finally got lucky. Five months after she delivered her son, my daughter was born. Our friendship had survived the difficult test. I could probably stop right there, and that would be a fine place to wind this story up.

The year that I had my daughter, three of my other close friends had their first kids too, in addition to this one. In the subsequent years, however, it was clear that my little tryst with the stork was over.

All my friends had their second kids, but my attempts at growing the family further just did not pan out. As my friends got pregnant one after the other and had babies, I looked at their growing bellies and subsequently, their tiny little bundles of joy with longing.

Sumitha is the blogger behind afineparent. Connected Hearts Journal is a keepsake memory book parents put together with their kids and in the process have conversations, teach life lessons, build up self-esteem, instill an attitude of gratitude and so much more! Click here to find out more. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.

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